


Big Shorts (the RoughTrade prompts, not the garment)

by NimueOfTheNorth



Category: Criminal Minds, Harry Potter - Fandom, Hawaii Five-0 (2010), NCIS
Genre: F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-10-13
Updated: 2017-06-04
Packaged: 2018-08-22 07:14:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 9,001
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8277346
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NimueOfTheNorth/pseuds/NimueOfTheNorth
Summary: A collection of unconnected short stories in answer to prompts from the RoughTrade Workshop. One word prompts are 500-1000 words, character prompts are 1000-2000. Read the notes for possible warnings!





	1. Happiness (Tony & Aaron)

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt: Revenge  
> NCIS/Criminal Minds crossover  
> Pairing: Tony DiNozzo/Aaron Hotchner
> 
> Summary: Tony left NCIS and moved on. Now work brings him back.
> 
> I am not nice to most characters at NCIS.

Despite all the disrespect, the injustice and outright hurt Tony had suffered while at NCIS he had never gone for any kind of revenge, never really even thought about it. He‘d just left and moved on.

After a holiday in Hawaii, he‘d finally finished that psych degree he‘d been dragging around forever added a PhD in abnormal psych. Inheritances were a lovely thing if one needed some breathing room to start over.

Eventually he‘d given in to Fornell‘s nagging and joined the FBI - turned out to be the best decision of his life.

But now it had brought him back into the all too familiar elevator.

NCIS had requested support from the BAU to catch a serial killer targeting marines, which is why Tony had to brace himself for meeting people long left behind.

Walking around the partition walls into the MCRT‘s area, his whole team behind him, he saw Vance standing at Gibbs‘ desk. “Good morning, gentlemen, I believe you‘re expecting us.“ He stretched out a hand nobody seemed inclined to shake.

Gibbs growled into action. “No, DiNozzo, we‘re expecting Agent Hotchner and his BAU team.“

“Who‘s DiNozzo?“ “Tony‘s maiden name, Clarence, do keep up.“ was unsubtly stage whispered behind him.

It was followed by a sneer he could have lived without the rest of his life. “Maiden name? Did you kick up a woman and had to take her name as punishment?“

“Neither. And the term is ’to knock up‘, Officer David.“ Tony turned towards Vance. “I prefer to go by Dr. Hotchner rather than agent, less potential to be confused with the husband. BAU team 2,“ he gestured behind himself, “handles all cases in the immediate DC area. Is there a place where we can set up?“

Before Vance could answer Gibbs exploded. “What kind of joke is this? Is this how the FBI treats requests for help these days?“

“Nothing about this is funny. You have four dead marines and are expecting a fifth by tomorrow morning. Yet, you are wasting time instead of putting your best assets to work. Director?“

“This way.“ Vance gestured towards the conference room and tried to collect his brows down his forehead.

While they were setting up and dividing up the work Annabelle, his 2IC, took him aside. “You okay? That wasn‘t exactly a warm ’welcome back‘.“

“The past can only hurt us if we let it, I won‘t. I‘ll be fine.“ She scrutinised his small smile and judged it honest, because she let it go.

Working the case was tedious and kind of depressing. Going through the files and evidence they found a bunch of things the MCRT had missed or interpreted wrong. When he told Gibbs so the man stomped out to the bullpen and they could hear some yelling.

Ducky was right, things had certainly not improved since he left.

McGee was send in and went off on a tangent about the electronic searches they‘d run and all the angles they covered without result and how superior his algorithms were... right until Jeremiah Robertson, the teddybear of the team, stood up and reminded everyone that he made for a rather intimidating bear if he wanted, being 6ft8 and all that.

“Stop using valuable oxygen and shut up. Seeing as you don‘t know the first thing about investigative work you‘re a waste of our time. Get lost.“ The deep voice gave the words punch without much effort and McGee quickly scrambled for the door.

With all the things they had to catch up on and re-do they inevitably stood on a crime scene over yet another dead marine early the next morning. That seeing an undisturbed scene helped them find a clue was small consolation.

“Princess of all knowledge, how may I help my second favourite Hotchner today?“

“I‘ve send you some sets of dates, names and places and I need you to look for all possible connections, Garcia. What did I do to rank behind Aaron?“

“Oh nothing at all, my Italian truffle, but it‘s always been Jack first and ever since the bossman made an honest man out of you he‘s relegated himself to third favourite Hotchner. How is being back at the Navy Yard?“

“Orange is still a horrible wall colour. Call me when your magic finds something.“

“Will do.“

They were quickly moving towards a solution of the case and Tony was willing to just ignore Ziva‘s pathetic attempts at passive-aggressive flirting, but Annabelle Fairchild had a very sore spot for all kinds of harassment and so he wasn‘t too surprised when she slapped the paperwork for a formal complaint against Vance‘s chest right in front of David‘s desk.

Vance read it and looked up at Tony. “Do you have anything to say about this?“

“Well it is considered rather bad taste to flirt with the agent of a sister agency during a joined investigation, especially so when the man in question is happily married to another man - and flirting over a dead body is just morally questionable.“

Vance visibly ground his teeth and sent David home for the duration of the investigation, ignoring all her protests just as much as Abby‘s screeches of unfairness.

They arrested their UnSub later that afternoon and Tony was more than relieved to pack up.

Walking to the elevator he watched the half empty bullpen, Tim slumped over at Tony‘s old desk, struggling through forms Tony still knew backwards, Gibbs studiously avoiding his look, rigid with pent up aggression.

Tony had left it all behind. He would go home, hug his adorable step-son, prepare lasagne with him, because Aaron had just texted that his team would be home for dinner and finish the day off cuddling with his husband on the couch. He had found a team full of trust and respect, a family full of love and happiness - all the things NCIS had never thought him worthy of. 

And wasn‘t that the best revenge possible.

 


	2. Picture Postcard (Aaron & Spencer)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: Wet  
> Criminal Minds  
> Pairing: Aaron Hotchner/Spencer Reid
> 
> Summary: A romantic vacation in the mountains gives Aaron the perfect opportunity.

The scene in front of Aaron was picture postcard perfect. The mountains cradling a crystal clear lake surrounded by luscious green bushes and trees, the first touches of golden yellow here and there, and the clear blue sky above it, scattered with fluffy clouds. The small blockhouse Aaron had just stepped out of fit right in with the rustic charm.

But the absolute eye catcher among all the beauty was the no longer all that pale body stretched out on the pontoon anchored where it would get sun most of the day. Spencer was still reading at a leisurely speed, just as engrossed as when Aaron had left him to fix them some lunch.

They had desperately needed this little getaway after two months of practically back to back cases, too many with the potential for nightmares. So when Cruz had ordered downtime Aaron had finally taken one of the professors he occasionally taught with up on his offer to use his cabin. Jack was on an archeology camp with his class and was having way too much fun to miss them. If the world came crashing down at the FBI Dave would have to call Jessica, because neither of their phones would ring for anyone but her or Jack - it was a miracle they had reception out here anyway.

As always Spencer felt the eyes on him after a short while and looked up. With a little wave he packed up his things in the truly waterproof bag attached to a pulley (no book of Spencer‘s would have made it out to the pontoon otherwise) and dove into the water with surprising elegance to swim ashore. Aaron walked towards the water‘s edge and picked up the rope to pull the bag over.

“Still not done with the book?“ he asked teasingly when Spencer gained his feet.

“No. You keep distracting me. I love it.“ Spencer wrapped himself in the towel Aaron held out and just stepped closer to press a tender kiss against his lips.

They had lunch at the table on the small patch of lawn, chatting over the books they were reading, Jack‘s latest photos from camp and plans for Garcia‘s upcoming birthday. The sun had vanished behind a layer of clouds and a soft rain started while they were taking care of the dishes.

“Let‘s go for a walk.“

“A walk?! Aaron, it‘s raining.“ Spencer sounded outright shocked.

“So? It‘s still warm and we‘re in our swimming trunks anyway. Afraid of water falling from the sky, desert boy?“ Aaron teased, knowing full well how to draw Spencer out of his bubble of decorum.

He knew he‘d won when Spencer huffed. “Point taken, let‘s go for a walk.“

There was a small path through the trees, more or less following the water line. They had gone barefoot and Aaron cherished the freedom of actually feeling earth under his feet. The rain drizzled down from the trees and the air took on the wonderful fragrant smell of wet nature. Spencer inhaled deeply and relaxed into the experience.

They walked mostly in silence, sometimes hand in hand, sometimes arm in arm, every so often one pulling the other into a kiss that turned into all out snogging against a tree trunk once or twice.

They had made it mostly around the lake when Aaron dragged Spencer into the water, earning himself a yelped „Aaron!“ and a laugh. While he did move them into the general direction of the blockhouse, he mostly just let them drift and put much more energy into snogging his partner senseless, with the light rain rippling the water‘s surface all around them. 

Spencer didn‘t normally like to be carried but in the water he just wrapped his legs around Aaron‘s waist, his arms around his lover‘s neck and whatever that said about Aaron‘s self-image he loved the position and enjoyed it whenever he got a chance. 

It did make it a bit awkward to reach the zipper of his pocket and pull out the string with two pieces of metal on it.

He‘d hoped to find the perfect moment for this during their little vacation. Turned out he couldn‘t decide which one he liked the best. Last night in bed he‘d thought about it and came to the conclusion that with Spencer there wasn‘t _one_ perfect moment, that every single one they shared was perfect in it‘s own way and therefore it didn‘t matter which one he chose.

So this one it would be.

He brought his hand up and around Spencer‘s shoulder so that the string would fall down his chest. It took a few moments until the younger man reacted and broke their kiss, breathing heavily.

When he looked down his breath caught for a moment at the sight of two white gold rings resting against his skin. Once his eyes snapped back up to Aaron‘s he took a deep breath and asked in a quiet but steady voice “Spencer, will you marry me?“

It took seconds that felt like eternity before a smile spread over Spencer‘s whole face. “Yes, Aaron. Yes, of course I‘ll marry you. I‘m head over heels in love with you after all.“ And he proceeded to kiss his now fiancé just so there wouldn‘t be any doubt about it.

Then he suddenly threw back his head laughing loud and free.

“Not that I don‘t enjoy the sight, but what is so funny?“

“This -“ Spencer tried to catch his breath, “this must be the wettest proposal you could have possibly come up with, you romantic dork.“ He then proceeded to kiss the pout off of Aaron‘s lips. “I love it, just like I love you,“ mumbled somewhere in between.

Aaron thought he‘d gotten it pretty perfect after all.


	3. Juicy (Harry & Draco)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: Revenge/Wet  
> Harry Potter  
> Pairing: Harry Potter/Draco Malfoy
> 
> Summary: Draco and the twins will never stop with the pranks. Harry just makes the best of it.

Harry was standing at the kitchen counter chopping vegetables. Looking up shortly he saw Draco coming down the garden path but just went back to his tomatoes. It took his mind a moment or three to catch up to what exactly he'd seen and his eyes snapped back up.

There was Draco, all right, strolling down their garden path like every ordinary evening. What was less ordinary was the fact that he was soaking wet, his usually artfully tussled hair slicked to his head like in much younger years and his dress shirt sticking to his skin, highlighting every line on his torso - not a bad look at all, but still rather unexpected.

Draco sported a less complimenting scowl with it and Harry decided to just wait him out, staying where he was. The front door slamming shut told him it was indeed a question of taming the dragon.

"Sooo, how was your day?"

"It was just fine, thank you." Draco sounded deceptively calm and pleasant, likely trying to protect what dignity he had left. Some things never changed.

"I'm glad to hear whatever this is," he gestured up and down the wetness clinging everywhere, "didn't occur too long ago then." He pinched the corner of Draco's collar and liked the drops off his fingers. "Honey, that's cranberry juice."

"I am aware."

"You hate cranberry juice."

"Yes, I do."

"Let me guess. You dropped by the twins after work?"

"I may have."

"And they finally got you back for that last prank with the Wonderland's Mushroom Potion?"

"I really don't understand why they are still mad about it, seeing as it is selling very successfully in their shop already."

Harry gave a mixture of a sigh and a laugh, quite done with Draco's special brand of dramatics. "Dragon, the three of you have been trading pranks back and forth for years, each revenge leading to the next. They are mad on principle, like you are any better. Does any of you even still remember what started this?" He threw up his hands in exasperation.

"I fail to see how that is of any relevance to the current situation." Harry saw the glint in his lover's eyes and the smirk teasing the corner of his lips and knew he was only playing pouty for the sake of it.

"In other words, you are already planning your retaliation." A 'what-do-you-think' raised eyebrow was all the answer he got and needed. "Okay, okay, whatever, just keep me out of it.  Now, why are you still wet? Forgot how to do a drying charm?"

"They made the juice magic resistant."

"Of course they did." At this point, Harry was barely containing an all out belly laugh at the indignation on his partner's face. "You want me to throw that in the laundry for you or do you feel like taking on the devil that is the washing machine?"

"I'd much appreciate it if you would handle that task, I'm rather fond of the outfit."

Harry got into Draco's personal space and pressed against him, letting his fingers trace the lines of the juice-soaked shirt. "Or... I could take you up to the bathroom with me. And I could take you into the shower, just as you are, and could let the water wash all that nasty cranberry away. And I could undress you reeaally slowly." He licked some of the juice up along Draco's jaw.

"Hmm, would you be naked or dressed while doing so?"

"What would you like me to be?"

"Naked," came the gasped reply as Harry nibbled an earlobe.

"Naked it is."

"I'm not sure that's the result the twins had in mind with their revenge."

"Than they'll have to plan more thoroughly in the future." Harry started backing towards the stairs, grabbing Draco's hands, supper forgotten. "You coming?"

"I'm sure I could make a very plebeian comment in answer to that."

Harry rolled his eyes, turned around and started stripping his clothes while ascending the stairs. "Only if you stop dragging your feet, so get a move on, Mr All-High-And-Mighty, or I might end up getting a little revenge of my own."

Draco was neither stupid nor stubborn enough to start that kind of thing in his own home so he quickly followed his temptation up the steps. Even cranberry might yet prove to have its uses.


	4. Distance (Steve & Aaron)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: Steve McGarrett  
> Hawaii 5-0/Criminal Minds  
> Pairing: Steve McGarrett/Aaron Hotchner
> 
> Summary: Aaron is rarely as close as Steve would like but they make it work. Even when fate turns into a harsh mistress.
> 
> WARNING: Canon character death (different cause of death but otherwise close to canon)

“Don‘t answer that.“ Steve grumbled when the ring of a cellphone disturbed the afternoon. He was enjoying his nap in the hammock with his head on the strong chest that was now chuckling.

“I have to. Not even the bureau calls for non-issues during AL.“

“I‘m comfortable.“

“You know the job.“

“Doesn‘t mean I have to like it. Hey!“ The last was the protest when Aaron went for his phone, dislodging Steve from his side.

The half of the conversation Steve heard and the change in demeanour (which looked damn funny in swimming trunks) told him all he needed to know. He sighed and rolled from the hammock as well, going for his laptop inside and looking up flight information until warm arms encircled his waist.

“I‘m sorry. I‘d rather stay, but-“

“Don‘t apologise. I would do the same. Are you flying commercially?“

“Yes. They‘ll have a ticket waiting for me at the airport.“

“Good. Because even with the earliest flight east, we have time for a proper good-bye in the shower.“

That earned him a chuckle, a head shake and best of all a smile. “You‘re incorrigible.“

Steve didn‘t mind seeing as he found himself kissed all the way into the bathroom and thoroughly fucked under the stream of water.

\- - -

“Fuck!“ Steve could hear Aaron panting through the phone. He wasn‘t doing any better on his end. “I‘m so close, so... I  just... please.“

“What do you want me to do to you, Aaron? Should I keep it slow and make you beg some more?“ A groan. “Should I pick up the speed and make sure I hit your prostate every single time till you spill your cum untouched?“ A whimper that might have held a ’please‘. “Oh, I know.“ Steve grabbed his own cock a little tighter, jerking a little faster. “I‘ll make every thrust count, deep and powerful, make sure you‘ll feel me for days. And when I have you right on the edge, I‘ll latch my mouth to your neck where it meets your shoulder and I‘ll give you the hickey of the century, just hidden inside your collar.“

He could here the deep sucking in of breath that told him Aaron was coming and it had Steve follow after him with the next pass on his own cock.

For a few moments there was nothing but heavy breathing on either side of the line before Aaron chuckled. “How old are we? Teenagers?“

“What‘s wrong with phone sex? You‘re way too many miles away for my liking.“

“I‘m on a case!“

“Yeah, makes it even more hot. I love it when you guys don‘t have to room together.“

“Yeah, me too. I miss you.“

“Same here. Go get some sleep Agent Hotchner.“

“Stay save from crazy islanders. Good night.“

\- - -

“You could send them here.“

There was only silence on the other end of the line.

“If they can‘t stay with you, you could send them here. They wouldn‘t have to hide and you could at least stay in contact.“ _I wish you could come, too._ But that was out of the questions given Aaron‘s injuries and Steve knew better than to suggest Aaron step away from the case, allowing himself to be pampered.

“Steve, no, he‘s obsessed and determined, it‘s too risky.“

“I don‘t think so. Send the Marshall along and I‘ll put someone I trust with them 24/7 if I can‘t be here myself. There are only so many ways onto this island.“

“Steve, this is my family. I can‘t use them as bait, I just can‘t.“

“Do you trust me?“

“Of course, but-“

“No but. Between favours I‘m owed and people that don‘t want to royally piss me off, about three quarters of all the ways will be either inaccessible or turn into traps leading right into my holding cell. We can cover the rest, I swear on my uniform. Best case, Haley and Jack have a lovely beach vacation and that ass ends up in our net. Worst case, Haley and Jack have a lovely beach vacation and the ass refocuses and stays your problem back home. I‘m more worried for you if he decides the Pacific is too much hassle and he‘d rather deal with you directly.“

He heard a wary sigh and was glad Aaron was at least thinking about the option.

“Let me talk this through with everyone else involved. I‘ll get back to you. You‘re sure he‘ll end up in one of your cells.“ It wasn‘t quite a question and that made Steve smile a little.

“I think I can get you a bow on top.“

“I would take a shroud,“ was murmured so quietly, Steve wasn‘t sure he was supposed to hear. “I‘ll call. Bye.“

The line went dead and Steve started a mental list of whom to tell what when the call came that his plan was on. Because he was sure it would.

\- - -

A little more than two months later Steve was at the airport greeting the BAU.

“Agent Hotchner, welcome to Hawaii.“ A handshake. Being formal with Aaron sucked, but this was not the moment to tell the team.

“Do you mind telling us what this is all about?“ Rossi asked clearly impatient.

“I‘d rather just show you.“ Steve took them to the hospital where a bandaged lump was under heavy guard.

“I believe you‘ve met Mr Foyet before. Doctors assure me he won‘t be a burden for the taxpayers much longer.“

Steve looked at Aaron - the flickers of hope, disbelieve, gratitude, fury and relieve running through his eyes - and gave him a small smile of reassurance.

“What happened?“

“He tried to get onto the island via a Yakuza boat. Thing is, the local family has an unusual code of honour. They don‘t appreciate uncontrollable crazies going after children. He was literally dumped on our doorsteps.“

“I like Hawaii‘s brand of karma,“ was Derek‘s comment that summed everything up.

\- - -

Seeing SAIC Hotchner on the beach behind his house was decidedly strange. Aaron never even brought suits and ties along when he managed a trip out and the difference was disconcerting.

Then Jack came running their way at full speed, yelling “Daddy!“ and throwing himself at his father. Aaron kneeled down with outstretched arms, hugging his son to him uncaring of the sand and seawater he got onto him. When Aaron looked up to Steve and mouthed a ’thank you‘, there was all the familiar warmth in his eyes and Steve had his Aaron back, even if it was just for this moment.

\- - -

It was several hours after they would have landed in DC when Steve‘s phone rang with Aaron‘s caller ID.

“Hey there.“

“Haley says you already know about her health issues.“

Steve sighed. Even though he‘d known this call was coming, the note of desperation in Aaron‘s voice broke his heart. There was no preparing for that.

“I know enough. It was difficult to hide with her living here and she needed someone to talk.“

“It‘s going to turn real bad real fast. God, Steve, Jack‘s going to loose his mom. What can I do about that?“

“Nothing. Just be you, be there, be supportive. Spend as much time together as you can, make sure Jack has as many good memories as possible, take lots of pictures.“

That coaxed a snort from Aaron but there was no real amusement.

“Try to get leave, Aaron. Go on vacation as a family, I don‘t know, a trip to Disney World or come here again and just enjoy the sun and the sea and the beauty of the island. Whatever Haley can handle. You know I‘ll always be here for you, any which way.“

“It just seems so little, so pointless. I hate feeling helpless!“

“I know. And you can call and vent at me all you like, that‘s perfectly fine. But there really isn‘t much more you can do.“

\- - -

The first night Steve had the Hotchners in his house Aaron crawled into his bed a little hesitantly. When Steve pulled him into his arms he went tense.

“Steve, I... I can‘t... I‘m sorry-“

“Shh, I know. Relax. Just let me hold you.“

And slowly the tension left his lover‘s body while Steve‘s hand made lazy circles on his back.

Two weeks. Two weeks Steve had Aaron in his bed. Two weeks with nothing but cuddling and comforting. Two weeks in which Aaron let Steve closer than ever before.

At the end of the visit Steve took the family to the airport and accompanied them right up to the gate. He‘d already said his good-byes to Aaron and Jack, when Haley gave him a hug that seemed beyond her dwindling strength. “You‘ll look after them?“

“Always. I won‘t let him retreat into his shell, I‘m stubborn that way.“

“Thank you.“ She pressed a kiss to his cheek.“Good bye.“

And he allowed her to hide her tears, swallowing his own and plastering on a fake smile to give one last wave to Jack.

\- - -

They were working through the aftermath of a raid, that was the only reason they were all still at HQ after 2 am, when Steve‘s phone rang and he had a knot in his stomach.

“Aaron?“

“She didn‘t make it through last night. The funeral is on Thursday.“

His team looked worried when Steve slumped down in a chair. “I‘ll be on the first flight.“ Danny immediately called up flight informations on the computer table, he was the only one who knew more than Steve being in a long-distant relationship with another man.

“You don‘t have to come today, Steve, I can-“

“But I want to. There‘s no place else I want to be right now than by your side. At least I can distract Jack. Please, let me help.“

He heard Aaron swallow heavily. “Okay.“

\- - -

It was the worst reason to wear his dress blues, no matter how much Haley had liked the look.

It didn‘t really help that the BAU team looked a little surprised at his presence and that his lip-reading skills weren‘t rusty enough not to get the ’Damn, he cleans up nicely‘ from Prentiss.

He mostly ignored questioning looks, he wasn‘t here for any of them.

Jack handled the whole affair as well as could be expected from a four-year-old. He knew this was about his mommy being dead, but the finality of that word clearly hadn‘t sunk in and Steve didn‘t think it should.

At some point during the wake he gathered up the equal parts bored and overwhelmed boy and found a nook in Aaron‘s line of sight. “Let‘s have some story time, kiddo.“ He knew the picture books on his phone would come in handy.

It was JJ who eventually approached him, the team not too far off.

“Commander McGarrett, it was nice of you to come. We‘re a little surprised that you made the long trip.“

He just gave her an open smile. “Of course I came. It wouldn‘t have mattered if Id‘ been in Australia.“

At that moment Aaron slipped onto the window seat beside him and entwined their fingers.

“There never seems to be a good occasion so lets ignore the awkwardness. You‘ve all met, you just haven‘t met Steve as my partner of almost two years. Surprise.“

The joke fell flat but Steve chuckled anyway. “Very eloquent, love. And here I thought lawyers were supposed to have a way with words.“ He pressed a chaste kiss against the corner of Aaron‘s lips, knowing how much he‘d be comfortable with.

“Sorry, witty is out for the week.“

At that moment the team‘s phones went off and more than one sigh went around.

Rossi squeezed Aaron‘s shoulder. “I feel much better leaving, knowing that you‘re not alone, old friend.“

They all nodded their good-byes and headed off, leaving Steve by Aaron‘s side - for now.


	5. Lasagna (Penelope & Tony)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: Penelope Garcia  
> Criminal Minds/NCIS  
> Pairing: Penelope Garcia/Anthony DiNozzo
> 
> Summary: Meeting the 'in-laws' is always a little nerve-wracking, but good food makes everything better.

“Hey Garcia, I made us some tea.“ JJ strolled into her lair with a smile and two steaming mugs.

“Oh, wonderful! Thank you.“ She cradled her favourite extra large flower patterned mug with both hands and breathed in the fragrant smell.

“So, what‘s all this?“ JJ gestured towards the busy monitors. “Please tell me we don‘t have a new case.“

“No, no, nothing like that. Going home early is still totally on for all of us. We sure need the weekend. No, this is just a shower thought from our very own genius. He came up with a new algorithm that might help find connections quicker and with better accuracy, so I‘m running it on old cases with the initial information we had at the beginning. That way we can see if there‘s any improvement and if the results are reliable. This search is estimated to be complete in about 40 minutes and it‘s the last for today. So far it‘s looking pretty good. Hotch and Cruz seem quite excited.“

“Geeks will own the world. I‘m excited if during a shower I manage a decision about what‘s going to be for dinner.“ She laughed but there was also a proud smile seeing how much her awkward friend had accomplished over the years.

JJ had perched on Garcia‘s desk and her fingers were playing along the edges of a small bouquet of buttercups in rich yellow and a dark purple. “Sooo, things are still going well with you and your secret beau?“

Garcia was actually blushing a little. “Yes, he‘s still wonderful and I really feel like this could be something, you know?“

“That‘s great, you know I‘m happy for you, we all are. We just wonder why you are so secretive about him. I mean it‘s been what? Three months?“

“Almost four. It‘s just... we‘re taking it all kind of slow and I don‘t want everybody all up in my business before I feel like we‘ve settled into this. Meeting a team of profilers can be a little overwhelming, especially with Mr Over Protective around.“

JJ laughed. “I get it. And I told Morgan to tone it down. Not sure it‘ll help. Why are you guys taking it so slow? Doesn‘t seem to be your style.“

“We‘re not taking it _that_ slow, just... I don‘t know. Does it sound weird if I say I feel courted somehow?“

“I think it sounds romantic rather than weird. Maybe a bit old-fashioned but as long as he can handle a modern woman like you, I don‘t see the issue.“

“Oh, he isn‘t a chauvinist or anything. It‘s just that he seems to enjoy these small gestures,“ she pointed at the flowers, “and likes to make me feel cherished and appreciated. He never once gave me this feeling of ’I invest three dinners equals I get sex‘-BS. And he would totally get it for less than three dinners because sweet Circe the man knows what he‘s doing.“

JJ snorted into her tea at that. “I‘m glad to hear you‘ve reached the sex part in your secret little courting, but please don‘t say things like that while I‘m drinking or eating something.“ 

Garcia grinned rather unrepentant.

“Have you met his friends or are you both hiding?“

“He took me to this quirky little movie theatre for one of our dates and the owner is a friend and showed us the old projector. Oh, and we ran into one of his frat brothers who he still has regular contact with one evening. But I haven‘t met his team and they sound about as much as a family as we do, only more dysfunctional.“

JJ furrowed her brow a bit but at that moment Garcia‘s personal phone went off. The grin stretching over her face left little doubt about the caller. “Speak of the devil. - Hey sugar, did your ears ring?“

_“Were you talking about me, sunshine? Should I be worried?“_

“Always to both. What can I do for you on this lovely Friday?“

_“I‘m in the mood to make lasagna and I invited Ducky and Jimmy plus fiancée to come over. I was hoping you‘d come as well.“_

“Sure!“ Garcia tried very hart to sound calm and pleased. She was probably overdoing it, nervous as she was. “Ehm, should I bring something?“

_“Do you have enough time to make those strawberry cheesecake tartlets? Jimmy would devour those.“_

“Yeah I can make those. We get off early today. When should I be there?“

_“I‘ll be home by 4 and the others will be there at 7. You are as always welcome whenever. I‘m glad you can come over, it‘ll be a great evening. Sorry, but I‘ve got to run. There‘s still paperwork to clear up.“_

“Yeah, there always is. See you tonight.“

_“Looking forward to it. Bye.“_

The line went quiet and Garcia slowly turned to JJ, shock all over her face.

“Everything all right? Nice plans for the evening?“

“Homemade lasagna. He makes this really awesome eggplant lasagna, even makes the pasta fresh.“

“Sounds great. So, what has you all freaked out?“

“He invited two of his coworkers. And the fiancée of one of them. They‘re the two he cares about and trusts the most right now. I, I... I don‘t know if I‘m ready for that! What if I screw up and make a mess and they think I‘m weird and wrong for him and he doesn‘t want to see me again after tonight?!“

“Hey, hey, hey. Calm down. He likes you, like really likes you, right? And he likes those people. So he just wants three people he cares about to meet and get to know each other and he‘s certain that you‘ll all get along just fine. Sounds to me like he just wants to share his good fortune in finding you.“ She smiled encouragingly. “Penelope Garcia, you are a wonderful person and don‘t you dare think anybody worth knowing could ever disapprove of you. Now drink some of your tea.“

Garcia took a few sips and it helped calm her down. “Thanks.“ Adding a deep breath she glared at her monitors. “And this search better hurry up. I need to get to the grocers and they better have strawberries because strawberry cheesecake tartlets are the order of the day!“ She grabbed a notepad and a fluffy pen. “What else do I need? I still have enough flour and sugar...“

“There‘s my girl.“ JJ got up and with a squeeze of Garcia‘s shoulder left her to her shopping list.

\----

It was a little past six when Tony opened the door to his apartment with a big smile. “Hi Pen, come on in. Let me help you with this.“ He took the large container full of tartlets from her and gave her a short but tender kiss.

“Hi, yourself. You seem in a good mood.“ She closed the door and followed him into his amazing kitchen - totally different from her own colourful cluttered one, but still amazing.

“We finally wrapped up this tedious money laundering case and I swear even McGeek‘s eyes were slowly turning square shaped from staring at the monitors all the time. I know it‘s what you do and I know how important a part of our work it is these days, it just isn‘t for me on a long term basis.“

She smiled and slapped his fingers away from the tartlets. “Those are dessert, you‘ll have to wait. Anything left I can help you with?“

“Nope, all set, well minus the table, but we still have time. Can I have a different dessert now, or do I have to wait for that as well?“ He had stepped up to her and gathered her into his arms, nuzzling her neck with his lips.

“Well I guess, as you‘ve already completed most of your chores I can allow you a little treat.“

It was all the invitation he needed to start kissing her with unhurried abandon.

She tried to relax and enjoy the snogging like she normally did but it didn‘t take long at all before Tony pulled back with a question in his eyes.

“What‘s wrong, Pen? Did I do something?“

“No, its not you, it‘s... I‘m nervous, okay?“

“About what?“

“Meeting your friends, dummy. They are important to you and I... well I‘m me!“

“Yes, you are you. And you are wonderful and important to me and that‘s why I want them to meet you.“

“We haven‘t actually done the introducing each other to the families kind of thing, yet. I wasn‘t sure you wanted to.“

Tony sighed, but there was a sincerely understanding smile on his lips. “Pen... I only told you some of what‘s going on with my team, but I thought you knew that not introducing you was never about being ashamed of you. Never that, Penelope.“ He cradled her face in his hands and pressed a kiss against her forehead. “I‘m only trying to protect you from the utter bullshit they would undoubtedly pull upon meeting you. And I know how strong you are and that you don‘t need protection. You just shouldn‘t have to deal with their attitude. And I mean it when I call you my sunshine. You‘re a gift to me and I don‘t want to create unnecessary clouds.“

His words helped so effectively against her nerves because she could see the honesty in his eyes. She knew about the masks he often wore, she‘d even seen them come up in public once or twice. But she only ever got the real deal, raw Tony with all the edges and all the soft spots.

“And what makes you so certain that tonight won‘t create clouds?“

“Because Ducky and Jimmy actually use their eyes _and_ their brains when meeting people and they aren‘t self-absorbed, judgemental idiots. And they care about me, which with them means, they‘ll go out of their way not to upset someone I like. They will see in you what I see and they will like you, too.“

Penelope looked into his gorgeous green eyes and all the warmth they held for her. It was soon becoming the best and most addictive feeling in the world. “Okay.“

“Okay?“

“Yes, I‘m okay. Now kiss me some more, I want to enjoy it.“

“Yes ma‘am.“ Tony took up where he had left of and they were just getting into the swing when Penelope pulled back.

“Hold on. Don‘t you have a lasagna to put into the oven?“

With a glance at his watch he agreed and reluctantly returned to kitchen duty. 

They set the table together and Penelope did some last minute magic with the decorations.

Tony was of course right. They had a wonderful evening with delicious lasagna, good wine (curtesy of Ducky), stories told and laughter. Jimmy did indeed devoured her tartlets with noises that weren‘t at all suitable for polite company - but really who cared, impolite company was always more fun.

Breena and Penelope connected over knitting and made arrangement to go to the upcoming wool and yarn market two weekends later.

Afterwards she found herself sitting beside Tony, leaning her head against his shoulder while he played the piano for his guests. Jimmy and Breena were swaying to the music in the small open space by the fireplace and Ducky was in a comfortable chair, nursing a scotch and looking back and forth between both couples fondly.

It wasn‘t lost on Penelope that he had the same fatherly affection for both younger men and that he seemed to equally approve of both their choices in women.

When the three made their goodbyes he gentlemanly kissed her knuckles. “Miss Penelope, it was a delight making your acquaintance. It warms my heart to see Anthony so very happy.“

She gave him a well placed kiss on the cheek. “The pleasure was all mine, Dr Mallard.“

The moment the door was closed she kicked off her high-heels and dragged Tony of to the bedroom.

The dishes could wait.


	6. No Spell For That (Harry & Ginny)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: Harry Potter  
> Harry Potter  
> Pairing: Harry Potter/Ginny Weasley
> 
> Summary: When the truth creeps in, lives change and relationships can fall apart.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is probably the closest I'll ever come to the epilogue.

"You are always so damn needy!" Ginny's exasperation got the best of her and she started yelling. No yelling in the house was one of her precious rules. "You're needy and suspicious and attention makes you uncomfortable but you always, always have to be the hero for every poor soul! And you're paranoid but you want to trust so desperately and you're just so bloody intense! Unless you don't let me in at all and even that is intense. You are just too much, Harry, too much and I have no idea how to handle you." She slumped down towards the end. Dropped onto a kitchen chair, hunched over her shoulders, her voice flattening out.

Harry waited. Giving her time to calm down and giving himself time to collect his thoughts.

He knew the children had creeped down and were sitting on the staircase just outside the kitchen door. His magical awareness of them and his surroundings - just one example of his paranoia, he knew - didn't allow for anything less. So their children were hearing all this. He should probably cast a Muffliato at the door but somehow he couldn't be bothered.

They had kept their troubles away from the children as much as possible, but none of the three was stupid. Harry knew that they knew. The growing distance had been all too obvious even before Ginny had asked for some space and he'd moved out of their bedroom.

He wasn't sure if Ginny honestly believed the children hadn't noticed or if she lied to herself so she wouldn't have to deal with that fact. 

She'd never quite seen them for who they were just like she'd never quite seen him for who he was. Somehow the dream she was chasing always stepped between reality and her perception, the slightest of veils obscuring her view.

James was the one she related to the most. A boy that loved Quidditch and pranks and the outdoors, who'd rather avoid schoolwork and chores but would do his part under muttered protest. Albus was a little too sly, quiet and bookish for Ginny to connect to. She often expressed her hope that he would become a Ravenclaw in Hogwarts. The unsaid part being her fear that he might actually end up in Slytherin otherwise. To this day Harry hadn't told her that the hat had wanted to sort him there.

And little Lily just happened to be the type of girl Ginny had never wanted to be, all pink and dolls and braided hair and ballet lessons. That wasn't to say that at almost eight their daughter wasn't already a strong personality all of her own. She could and would tell adults off for being idiots in public and neither of her brothers or cousins dared to trifle with her.

And all three of them were that little bit too perceptive for their own good and their parents' privacy. Harry sighed internally, wondering not for the first time if that was a direct result of his own need to track everything and anything, a habit passed on without intention.

He never wanted to burden his children like that, but how could he change who he was.

And that was really the root of the whole issue, what Ginny's complaints and anger boiled down to.

Ginny, his wife, the girl that had always been around since his life had turned magical, his connection to a family.

The woman that looked up at him right now with a weird mixture of anger and despair in her eyes. "Why do you have to be like that? Why can't it be normal, easy? Why do you have to be so... difficult?"

"Does that really surprise you? You've known me for 25 years, you know a lot of what happened to me, even if not always the details. Did you really expect me to be an easy going, uncomplicated, fairy tale husband?"

"But our life is good! You have the job you always wanted. We have a nice home, there are always family and friends around and I gave you three children that love you and I know you adore them. Why are you still stuck in the past?"

"I'm not stuck, the past haunts me. And, yes, there is a difference. And it will probably never stop. I was a neglected and abused child. I became a traumatised teenager. I sacrificed myself before I even turned eighteen. Did you think that would all just magically go away?

“I took the job that everyone expected me to take. I'm good at it, it's rewarding work and yes, I like it well enough. But I never even allowed myself to question what I really wanted. The need to please, to not make others mad is too ingrained. I fell in love with the girl that wanted me and that promised me the family I always wanted. I love you Ginny, never doubt that. But I'm not always sure I love you for the right reasons, how ever unfair that might be."

Tears were running down Ginny‘s cheeks and he wasn’t sure any comforting on his part would be welcome. And didn’t that say a lot.

“And where do we go from here?”

“I don’t know, Ginny. I guess it depends on whether or not you think you can continue living like this. I try my best every day, but I can’t promise that the past will ever let me go completely. No transfiguration in the world will make me into the man you think I should be. It doesn’t work like that.”

Ginny was still crying and he saw a goodbye in her eyes that broke his heart a little.

Suddenly he felt Lily crawl into his lap and hug her arms around his middle. Albus’ hand slipped into his own, that he hadn’t reflexively curled around his daughter’s back, and held his fingers firmly. James gave his shoulder a squeeze as he passed by and gave his mother a short hug. When he drew back, he left his hands on her shoulders and had a resolve about him that looked both foreign and so totally him.

“If you two are getting divorced or separated or whatever, we’re going to stay with dad.”

Harry felt his own mouth drop open.

There was surprise written all over Ginny‘s face as well. “James, I...”

“No, Mum, it’s... we love you. And we know you love us, too. But you said something just now, that you gave us to dad. And we know that doesn’t mean you don’t love us or didn’t want us or any such thing. But there’s also a truth in that and it’s just...” he shrugged his shoulders a little helplessly, missing the right words. “You’ll always be our mum and we want you around, a lot! But we’re going to stay with dad.”

Harry swallowed. “The other things we said were also true. Everything your mother accused me of is true, I have all these faults. And I don’t know that I’ll ever get entirely over my past. You three might have it better with your mum, you’d be exposed to less of my issues.”

All three were shaking their heads while Ginny stayed quiet. It was Lily who spoke up this time. “You said magic can’t fix this, but maybe love can.”

“Oh, Lily,” Harry sighed but didn’t get further.

“I’m only almost eight. Let me be a dreamer.”

“Always, sweetheart. If I have anything to say about it, you can forever be a dreamer.”

“Anyway, it was decided that you are the one who should under no circumstances be alone and mum has grandma and grandpa, so we are staying with you.”

Albus just squeezed his hand a little tighter, almost as if he wanted to hold on physically.

Harry looked over to Ginny who sat pulled into James side by a one armed hug. The years of friendship and marriage made words unnecessary.

“So this is it,” she eventually whispered.

“Yeah. This is it.”

And somehow, they would be getting through this, on separate paths, not without tears, but they would.


	7. Cold Turkey (Penelope & Aaron)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompts: Penelope Garcia, Inappropriate use of frozen food (the latter one comes from a different source)  
> Fandom: Criminal Minds  
> Characters: Penelope Garcia, Aaron Hotchner (no pairing)
> 
> Summary: It’s too damn late at night, but for Garcia, Hotch deals with it anyway.

Aaron caught his reflection in the polished doors of the elevator and tried to get his hair to behave, with no success. He didn‘t look much like his usual polished, professional self but it was 3 am after a gruesome case. A jeans, sweater and some water to his face was really all anyone could expect.

The doors opened and he immediately saw the normal hubbub of an active crime scene. Police officers in uniform, paramedics rolling a gurney with a man passed him, nosy neighbours in dressing gowns... and thankfully Anderson looking very professional in a proper suit.

A flash of his badge got him through and Anderson came over with the most pertinent information.

“She hasn’t been hurt. I think she’s mostly caught between shock, annoyance and outrage. He didn‘t have time to do anything really. At this point, it is mostly about smoothing out the paperwork and calming her down. I also don’t think she’ll want to stay here for the rest of the night. Should I call anybody else?”

“Not right now, thank you, Anderson. I’ll see what the situation is, talk to the detective. If you could sort as much of the standard forms and contacts as possible, I’ll appreciate it.”

Anderson just gave him a nod and Aaron turned to the open door. The area around the lock still had fingerprint powder but no signs of obvious force. He followed the sound of voices into the living room.

Standing in the doorway, the slightly inappropriate thought crossed his mind, that at least he wasn’t the worst dressed person on the scene. He gave himself a mental shake. That was not how he wanted to think of Garcia in a cupcake printed nighty and a plush turquoise dressing gown. The huge purple tiger paw slippers added an involuntarily comedic note.

“Hey, Garcia. How are you?”

“Hotch! You came over? Oh, I’m sorry. They shouldn’t have woken you up. You guys only just came home.” In typical Garcia fashion, she went through a whole array of emotions in those few short sentences but the underlying tone he got from her body language was relief.

He exchanged a quick handshake with the detective in the armchair and then settled in on the couch beside her, taking one of her fidgeting hands into his. “So, what happened?”

“I... I heard noises at my front door and then the lock clicked but really quietly and before I knew it there was this guy standing in the doorway and I think we were both kinda surprised. And I must have recovered sooner than he did because he hadn’t moved and I just knocked him down. I called 911 and tied his hands and feet together, in case he woke up again.”

That certainly explained the unconscious man on the gurney. “Nice to know that your wit isn’t the only thing quick about you,” he tried to lighten the mood a little. “What did you knock him down with?”

“A frozen turkey?”

The detective saw a chance to get some more of his own questions answered. “Why did you grab a frozen turkey of all things, Miss Garcia?”

“I had gotten up because I couldn’t sleep. The pictures of that last case were still floating around my brain and I thought some mint and chocolate chip ice cream might help, so I was standing at the open freezer when I heard the noises first.”

“And a turkey seemed the best weapon of choice?”

“It was hard and heavy and... there. I didn’t exactly make a plan or anything. I suddenly had a strange man standing in my kitchen.”

“Right, of course. So you just grabbed the conveniently available turkey and knocked the intruder on the head with it.”

Garcia only nodded wide-eyed, clearly reliving the disturbing event in her mind. So Aaron aimed for distraction. “Why did you even have a turkey in your freezer, Garcia? You are a vegetarian.”

“What? Oh! Esther from 3F is organising this huge Thanksgiving dinner for her whole family and doesn’t have enough room in her freezer, so I offered to keep some things for her. Oh God!”

“What?” the detective asked confused but Aaron was used to the Garcia brand of not quite life-shattering drama. He wasn’t disappointed.

“Esther’s turkey! They are going to take the turkey into evidence lock-up. Because it’s now a murder weapon. And then Esther won’t have a turkey for Thanksgiving. I ruined Esther’s Thanksgiving! No! This, this, this... Punk ruined Esther’s Thanksgiving! How dare he?! But what will her family think when she doesn’t have a turkey for Thanksgiving? Hotch, can we pay bail money to get the turkey out of evidence lock-up? Will they even make sure it stays properly frozen?”

“Garcia! Calm down. The turkey is not a murder weapon, nobody got killed after all.” He had to shoot the detective a Hotchner glare to control his sniggers. No need to add indignation to Garcia’s volcano of emotions. “I am sure Esther will be quite glad her turkey was here to protect you from any harm and we’ll get her a new turkey in pristine condition. The FBI has funds to replace items damaged in connection with a crime after all.”

“Really? You’ll do that?”

“Of course. I’ll get Anderson on it right away. Now, how about you put on some clothes and pack a bag and you spend the rest of the night at my place? Or I can drop you off at Morgan’s place if you’d like.”

“No. No need to wake up my chocolate god as well over this. If you really don’t mind having me over, that is?”

“Not at all.”

With a quick peck on his cheek, she shuffled into her bedroom to get ready.

The detective looked at him with a raised eyebrow. “She gets up for ice cream and ends up knocking down a burglar with a frozen turkey that isn’t even hers?”

“Detective, when Penelope Garcia is involved, all bets are off.”


End file.
